Header Ads

Next Generation Dating

So I was up late one night flipping through the channels trying to find something to watch other than “Lose 20 pounds in 6 days” and “Girls Gone Wild” infomercials, when I randomly stopped on MTV.

Now, MTV is usually not my choice of quality television, unlike “South Park,” “Family Guy,” and anything on Cartoon Network. But right as I was about to press the dreaded “wand of entertainment” (remote) to another channel, a certain show caught my eye.

It was a reality TV show called “Next” where someone gets the chance to go on five dates and if in the middle of the date they don’t like the person, they can go on to another date all by saying, you guessed it, “Next!”

The twist on this whole show is that they aren’t really dates, and are instead more like tests. Some of these tests included having to shave a sheep in a limited amount of time, run an obstacle course in a football uniform or even having to catch a pig, and in order to move on to the next part of the date the contestant has to complete those tests to the sufficiency of that person.

All while the contestant (I use that word loosely) is attempting these “dates,” the other four contestants are inside a bus waiting for their turn to “perform.” Inside the bus they literally have nothing to do but sit there, talk, have burping contests and kick each other in the crotch (no, I’m not lying about that last one). But of course, all of this is real and unplanned. The contestants have never seen each other before except for that time they were duet partners in an acting class at their local community college in which they signed up for this show.

After sitting on my couch watching a three hour “Next” marathon, I realized one thing... this show was ingenious! Why did I not think of this before!? Instead of going on actual dates I could make people complete tests in order to find the right person for me! What an incredible idea!

Now the tests on the shows are not normal test as I have mentioned. Most of these tests correlate with that person’s interests or hobbies.

So since I am very outdoorsy, my first date would consist of my date/contestant venturing out into the woods. They would have to find, catch and bring back a live animal using only their bare hands and a box of dental floss (I had to give some sympathy to them).

If she can’t complete my date successfully then I will know for sure that she is not the right one for me, and I would have the opportunity to say the sweet melodic word “Next.” As they walk away in anger and defeat, I could say some witty phrase that has some double meaning like they do in the show.

MTV has to be one of the most innovative networks of all time. Not only can I keep in touch with which music videos are on the top 10 list, but I can also get dating advice all from one amazing station! I just can’t wait to figure out what they’ll come up with “Next!

No comments